Three Treasures

Wei Wuxian came in without knocking. This was his habit, but usually he did not come in and cry out “Wen Ning! I can give you the three treasures you lack!” Then he noticed Wen Ning.

“What are you doing?” he asked, as if puzzled, when in fact it was not very puzzling. He put down a jar he was carrying, and came over.

“I’m changing Lele’s diaper,” said Wen Ning, lifting Lele by her feet to wipe her bum. “What are you talking about?”

“But why do you have a baby?” asked Wei Wuxian, diverted entirely.

“Granny Han is having her nap.”

“You should have told me you had a baby!” complained Wei Wuxian, leaning over Lele and pulling faces at her, while Wen Ning wrapped her back up. Lele was, of course, completely charmed, insofar as a baby of her tender age could be said to be. She reached for Wei Wuxian’s face.

“Sorry,” said Wen Ning, who was not sorry. He had not told Wei Wuxian because it had taken all month to convince Granny Han that she ought to let him take Lele for a few hours while she rested, and he had known that Wei Wuxian would have crashed into the delicate argument he was building like an escaped pig running through the market.

Wei Wuxian occupied the fifteen minutes it took Lele to fall asleep fully entranced by her, which was to be expected, but after she settled into her crib and stopped responding to his flirtations, he remembered why he came.

“Wen Ning! I can give you your missing three treasures!”

Wen Ning had really been hoping he had misheard that part.

“You mean,” he said, reluctantly, nodding toward his belt.

Wei Wuxian grinned.

“I am really very happy with my pillar,” he tried to demur, gesturing toward the box in the back where he kept it when it wasn’t being used.

“Me too,” Wei Wuxian, assured him, “I have no complaints!”

Wen Ning had not thought he had, but it was still nice to hear. “Then–”

“But this would be better, because it would be attached like a regular part!”

Wen Ning considered for a moment. The thought did actually hold some appeal, for all that he considered himself quite content with the pillar he and Wei Wuxian had carved for him. What would it be like to have it simply a part of himself all the time? To look down and see his parts lying soft against him, when he bathed? He did like the idea of a pillar that would respond to him, and the way Wei Wuxian enjoyed his own did intrigue him.

But. “Would this use resentful energy?” he asked.

Wei Wuxian looked slightly shifty. “Only a little! To attach, um.” His eyes darted to the jar he had put down by the door when he came in.

A much worse question occurred to him. “Wei Wuxian… where did you get these three treasures?” Wei Wuxian wouldn’t rob the grave of a eunuch, would he?

“It’s fine!” said Wei Wuxian, a little evasively. “I asked her, she said she doesn’t want them.”

This was something of a relief to hear, but did not address his main concern. “Did they come from a corpse?” he asked straightforwardly, so Wei Wuxian couldn’t evade. The jar looked like the type of jar Granny Han made pickles in.

“Errr,” said Wei Wuxian. “Well, you know, you yourself… I don’t think I could use resentful energy to attach a living organ, you know.”

Wen Ning sighed, and summoned up the implacable firmness necessary to dissuade Wei Wuxian. “Absolutely not. I mean. Please thank, um. Her. And also I appreciate the thought–”

“But Wen Ning! Think how much fun it would be!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed. “I think you’d really like it!”

“I like what we do already,” said Wen Ning. “Don’t wake the baby.”

Wei Wuxian pouted quite a bit, but when the baby woke up from her nap he forgot all about it, since Wen Ning let him hold Lele while he went back to chopping up the bitter melon for drying for the winter. Later, once they returned Lele and the chopped bitter melon to Granny Han, he let Wen Ning remind him that he liked his wooden pillar very much.